Five Reasons I Know I'm Getting Old...

1. I can't get a good night's sleep if the thread count of my sheets is less than 300.

2. I'm always complaining about how "inappropriate" television and music is for children.

3. I'm actually concerned about things like fiber and benefits and retirement planning.

4. My once-or-twice-a-year gray hairs have now become once-or-twice-a quarter.

5. I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that "40 is the new 20." 

 

Five Things I Do To Counteract The Effects of Getting Old...

 

1. Hang out with people under 30 (preferably the ones who think I look five to ten years younger than I actually am).

2. Watch the Cartoon Network.

3. Text message as often as possible (without, however, the "cute" little abbreviations like "ROFL", "R U @ home" or the ever-popular "LOL")

4. Ogle the cute guys at the gym.

5. Going to visit my parents and getting treated like I'm still eight years old.

María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza de Rasten

Better known as that wacky sex bomb of 70's fame, CHARO (cuchi cuchi!)

Why am I dusting Charo off and putting her front and center in today's blog? Because someone else beat me to dusting her off and putting her in a Geico commercial.

Yes. I said Geico.

"What does a wacky 70's sex bomb have to do with auto insurance?" you may well ask. The answer to that is "I don't know." Despite having watched the commercial with great zeal, I fail to see any correlation between Charo and Geico. But I am thrilled that she's getting work, and I was also thrilled that that damn gecko was nowhere to be seen. So I'm all for the marriage.

Just to keep it mixed up and give other has-beens a chance to be on TV again, I saw another version this morning featuring LITTLE RICHARD.

Personally, I enjoyed Charo more, but as long as that reptile is off-camera, I'm a happy camper.

I can't wait to see who they come up with next.

Let the good auto insurance times roll!

Motivation 101

I was at the gym yesterday, casually watching Big Screen TV #3 and listening to my Discman at the same time. Big Screen TV #3 was tuned to VH1 which was airing reruns of "Celebrity Fit Club." Near as I can tell (not ever having seen either show) CFC is the B and C list celebrity version of "The Biggest Loser."

I gotta tell you, it was disturbing. From the "before" pictures to the bathing suit pictures to the visual representation of the fat lost by the teams, I was totally horrified. It did make me pedal harder on the ole elliptical, and lead me to wonder what was really a better motivator for me.

This?

or (as I had believed Wednesday night) this?

One is certainly a lot easier on the eyes than the other...and has A list actors...and takes the stereotype of the nerdy scientist and turns it on it's now sexy head. But is that enough?

I was a size 6 this time last year, and with continued trips to the gym and healthy eating, I should be back there in two or three months, so the toned bodies on "CSI:" are not only attainable, but a lot closer to my real body than the uber-weights on "CFC". But I find myself watching the CSI crew slink around crime scenes and just being wistful that I let myself get out of shape, as opposed to the stark I-can-hear-the-fat-on-my-thighs-expanding terror that I experience watching CFC.

I think my instantaneous physical response of increased exertion yesterday makes it pretty clear that I am driven by fear rather than pleasure. I'm guessing this means I should put up a picture of Judge Mablean on my refridgerator rather than Marg Helenberger.

Oh woe is me...

But I bet you I lose the weight in two months rather than three!