Friday, March 31, 2006

Ha Ha! I have been (partially) vindicated!

Since my last post I have noticed that three of my Top 5 Irksome Commercials have been discontinued or altered.

1. The DirecTV guys now have a short interaction that leaves out the urinal scene (hooray!)

2. The "Bathroom Angels" seem to have found somewhere better to be than on my TV screen making "wee wee" jokes.

3. And Jessica Simpson and Ms. Piggy have been safely ensconced in the Pizza Hut archives (hooray again!)

Now if I could just get rid of that Outback guy, that gecko and that duck, my life would be darn close to perfect...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Top 5 Commercials that irk me

1. DirecTV for its gratuitous men-at-the-urinal scene (ewww);

2. Angel Soft for its childish "oui oui/wee wee" joke (sooo unnecessary);


3. Outback for its totally unfunny grating Aussie-accented spokesperson (who thought HE was a good idea?);


4. Pizza Hut for its use of Jessica Simpson to blatantly sex up a teenage boy (to his subsequent disappointment when he brings his friends in a follow-up commercial and it's Miss Piggy sexing them up instead of JS);


and

5. The Chicken of the Sea commercial with the attractive young lady because they did it first (and better) in Thailand or Japan years ago.




Side Note: The Chicken of the Sea and Jessica Simpson references are totally coincidental...although the irony is delicious.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Strange Times at Mutsugoro Okoku

Apparently there is something weird going on at the Tokyo Zoo...a little hamster named Gohan was put into the cage of a snake named Aochan last October as a tasty snack...but instead of eating the hamster, the snake made friends with him. They've lived together (in some sort of gay connubial bliss) ever since.



Those crazy Japanese with their lizards and meat hats and now with their snakes and hamsters. Catch the video footage here.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Volksfallen: Drivers Wanted.

As some of you know, SuperMilkChan is quite the Good Samaritan.  Unfortunately, my Good Samaritan-ing has not been limited to helping little old ladies cross the street or giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly citizen.  I have, for the past eight months been at the scene of events that leave scars and bruises and the like.
 
On Friday, for instance, on my way out of the gym, I saw a guy take a header off his bike (well, actually I saw him just after he'd gone down) at Columbus Circle.  It was actually a little frightening for a few moments because he wasn't moving and there was a lovely spattering of that red juice that keeps us alive on the pavement. Naturally, I had to rush over to help.  This time, however, I wasn't alone in my efforts to assist (as is usually the case)...at least eight people pretended to care (read: wanted to get close enough to view the gore for themselves) and several even called 911.  Turns out that some metal poles (probably from the construction site nearby) had ended up in the road and couldn't be seen until AFTER they worked their evil magic.  They may even have been someone's minions - I don't know.  I do know that they weren't mine since (a) mine still haven't arrived; (2) my minions would only work their evil magic to inure to my benefit, not to harm some innocent bike rider; and (D) my minions are of the winged variety, anyway.
 
Fortunately, there happened to be some cops on traffic patrol nearby, although they took their sweet time walking over to where we were (you'd think that a crowd of 10 people standing in the middle of the street would draw a faster response).  Poor Mike could've died by then.  Yeah, his name was Mike.  I found that out when the other "interested" parties drifted off (including the obnoxious German tourists who took a freakin' picture of the kid on the ground) and he expressed his gratitude at my kindness and wanted to know my name.  If he hadn't asked for a cigarette, I mighta had a new boyfriend.  He was cute in that "I just fell off my bike and I'm bleeding" kind of way and he had the prettiest eyes.  But I don't do smokers.  Grosses me out.  Anyway, after the fire department showed up (I know, I know...why a fire truck instead of an ambulance?), I bade him farewell and went on my way. 
 
Moral of the story: If you nearly die taking a header off your bike in Manhattan, you will end up on some German tourists' slide show for his friends back home.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Even MORE freakin' computer 'tude

I swear I am not only getting rid of this program, I am SO sending my minions (which haven't yet arrived, darn the luck) to kick this guy's tush all over the great states of Ohio, Tennessee, Missouri and Oklahoma!



Friday, March 03, 2006

This goes right next to my leopard high heel shoe chair...


For those of you who've managed to forget the leopard chair, here's a reminder: