Random blurbs from the edge of the I.R.C.

So I'm supposed to be writing a chapter for a book on an IRS Circular right now, but one can only deal with the tax code for so long before one starts to lose one's mind. This is more of my classic "any port in a storm" procrastination, and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth.

Thought #1: Madison Avenue has really been phoning it in lately. No one even bothers to try to make commercials that make sense or enlighten or excite anymore. Then you get just the weird, off-the-wall ones, like the new Burger King commercial with it's homage to "Man Food" (aka the "Texas Double Whopper"). In the midst of the parodied "I Am Woman" and the clichéd verbal toss-offs to "chick food", a banner unfurls that says simply :

"Eat This Meat."

WHO thought it was a good idea to have men prancing around in various stages of hair gel, beating their chests and breaking out this flag? Despite its apparent attempt not to, this commercial simply screams "gay". They should have eaten their chick food and liked it.

Thought #2: This allowed me to relive much of my musical youth and thus amused me.

Thought #3: Rob, Jeff, David and Mike had better call me soon or I'm not going to be their friend anymore. Fabian text messaged me yesterday and today, so he's in the clear.

Thought #4: McSorely rocks. He went to San Diego and sent me a shot glass from the Zoo that has a silver facial silhouette of King Kong (or some other large gorilla). I collect shot glasses and this is the first one I have that is black and silver. Big Thumbs Up to McS!

Thought #5: I watched another episode of "The Surreal Life" last night. It was pathetic and boring. I no longer wonder if I've been missing anything.

Thought #6: If you are having a conversation on your cell phone in a public place and it is loud enough for me to know all the details, I am perfectly justified in offering my opinion on the subject at hand. You can't discuss your sex life in the frozen food section of the Food Emporium and then get huffy when I let you know that you shouldn't have slept with him after you broke up with his best friend.

Thought #7: Much like the proliferation of cell phones, the phrase "disrespect" has enjoyed a growth spurt over the past few years the like of which has never been seen. People use the phrase with such abandon that any original purpose and meaning has long been lost. I have to wonder if anyone even knows what truly is disrespectful and what is simply "I don't like what you said, so I'm declaring it disrespectful." And then there are my personal favorites - those who commit or are subject to acts of disrespect all the time and have no clue. They are usually the same people who like to break out with a howl of "DISRESPECTFUL!" at any other given opportunity. Dolts.

Thought #8: No one over the age of 25 should be allowed to use the word "awesome." And no one should ever be allowed to say "whatever" when they can't keep up their end of the conversation. Another annoyance is when people say, "I went to her work" (or any variation thereof). You don't go to someone's "work". Work, in such context, is a verb, not a noun. You can go to someone's office, their place of business or even "where they work", but you absolutely CAN NOT go to someone's work.

Thought #9: Criminals should be subject to extra jail time for stupidity. Items such as hailing a cab as a getaway car after a bank heist, confessing to a bar full of strangers that you killed someone 20 years before or admitting to criminal acts over the telephone should all add a hefty amount of years. If you're going to commit a crime, be smart enough to get away with it. If you aren't...JUST SAY NO.

Thought #10: How come I've NEVER seen triplets? Is the whole multiple-birth thing the brainchild of the liberal media?

Thought #11: I don't care how anti-feminist propaganda she might be, I like Barbie. On the other hand, I don't like that "pink" is the automatic color of choice for anything related to females (cite the "Pretty in Pink" Motorola RAZR made popular for Mother's Day). Gender-specific fascism, if you ask me. The feminist movement should get to work on that and stop worrying about how Barbie is warping the minds of young girls.

Thought #12: I have to go back to work after a ten-month hiatus and I'm NOT HAPPY about it. I've been enjoying being gainfully unemployed (on my dime, kids, not at the expense of your tax dollars).

Thought #13: My peanut, Daphne, turned three on Monday. Here are "Kitten Daphne" and "Daphne the Cat" pictures. Happy Birthday, Princess Girl!








Thought #14: I will be getting a call from one of my co-authors soon and, practically, I should be able to discuss my portion with some small level of intelligence. Ergo, my diatribe needs to end (for now) and I need to get back to decoding the mysteries of section 6662 of the Internal Revenue Code. Be glad it's me and not you.

Peace.