It's so real it's Surreal...

What happens if you mix a 70's sitcom star, a Music Video Vixen, a crazy 80's hair band guitarist, add in a Playboy bunny, and Mr. Smash Mouth, shake liberally with the ultimate TV mom/hypno-therapist and a dash of Transgender Hollywood Royalty?


Really bad can't-look-away-from-it television aka "Surreal Life 6" on VH1.

SL6's celebrities: SHERMAN "GEORGE JEFFERSON" HEMSLEY, CC DEVILLE, lead guitarist of Poison, Video Vixen and TV Star, TAWNY KITAEN, Transgender actor-ess ALEXIS ARQUETTE, STEVE "SMASH MOUTH" HARWELL, Playboy sensation ANDREA LOWELL, and TV's favorite Mom, FLORENCE "CAROL BRADY" HENDERSON. Oh yeah, and some former-WWF guy named Maven who apparently was a last minute addition since he's left out of the initial VH1 press release. Poor Maven. A washed out has-been who isn't even important enough to warrant a mention as a washed out has-been. (insert sad face emoticon here)

As you may well have guessed, my favorite is the tranny, Alexis Arquette of THE Arquette family (wonder why we've never heard of him/her before now!) Is there anyone who fails to be fascinated on some level by a man in a dress???

Okay, I have yet to actually see Alexis in a dress, but you get my point.

S/he could learn a thing or two about looking more like a woman from the Prince, however. No matter how much body hair he grows, he still manages to look more feminine than a lot of chicks. Go figure.

Second on my list is Brady mom, Florence Henderson. She seems to have had the same reaction to the discovery of this mess of a masterpiece of Americana as I did.

Trailing in third place is Tawny Kitaen who (despite her name) has managed not to become a porn star.

Given her range of acting talent, she might have done well to give it some thought. Probably would have made a lot more money and could have left "debasing myself on reality TV" off her résumé. Of course, now that she's hanging out with Andrea Lowell who hangs out with midget porn stars, she may finally have her chance to break into the biz.

(Yeah, I said midget porn star. Accept it and move on.)

I am ashamed to admit that I caught an episode while I was at the gym and actually tried to extend my elliptical time so that I could see what happened after the commercial break. All I can say in my defense is that it's a train wreck and once you see it, it's nearly impossible to look away. I caught my second episode in the privacy of my own home where I could watch without anyone knowing (or even suspecting)...the cats don't count since they can't rat me out. I'm not yet hopelessly addicted since I haven't bothered to find out when it is regularly scheduled (I happened to be flipping channels the other day), but I can't make any promises.

And you know that if I have to suffer through it, I'm taking you with me...