It's about time!!!

State passes droopy pants law

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - The Florida Senate wants public school students to pull up their pants. Lawmakers passed a bill Thursday that could mean suspensions for students with droopy britches. [Tee hee! "Britches"! Who says that anymore???]

It won't become law unless the House of Representatives passes a companion measure.

Florida could join several southern U.S. towns and cities that have passed "saggy pants" laws aimed at outlawing what some teenagers consider a fashion statement -- wearing pants half way down their buttocks, exposing flesh or underwear. [How ANYONE thinks this is "cute", "sexy", "hip", "phat", "fly", "real" or any other generational catch-word for "cool" is beyond me. Seriously...do people really believe this is a good look or is this "but all my friends are doing it" on a megawatt scale???]

Supporters say schools sometimes don't properly police dress codes and parents are often "under aware" of what their kids are wearing to school. ["Under aware" - I get it. Why that's...almost...punny.]

Critics say the measure is unnecessary, arguing that appearance and dress codes should be the responsibility of school districts and parents. [Obviously it is necessary, since school districts and parents don't seem to be doing a very good job.]

Despite being the butt of jokes [...oy...], the bill's sponsor, Orlando Sen. Gary Siplin, a Democrat, has said the fashion statement has a back-story [...vey...]-- it was made popular by rap artists after first appearing among prison inmates as a signal they were looking for sex. [...yeesh...]

"All we're trying to do now is trying to inform folks that we have a fad now that does not have a very good origination," Siplin said. "We're trying to make an example in school," he added, saying it would help students get jobs and a degree. [Wait...WHAT??? Can I have that guarantee in writing? And better yet, can I translate that to mean if I start wearing baggy pants and then stop wearing them, I will get that job that has been eluding my efforts for the past year???]

The Florida city of Riviera Beach passed its own saggy pants law Tuesday, with a maximum penalty of 60 days in jail for repeat offenders. [Hmmm. Better hope that the urban legend of the baggy pants sex walk isn't true, gentlemen!]

(Reporting by Michael Peltier, editing by Jim Loney and Todd Eastham) [TWO guys edited this. TWO. Makes me wonder what it looked like before they got their hands on it. Also makes me wonder who left in those crappy attempts at puns and double entendres.]