I woke up screaming the other morning

Seriously. Not metaphorically. Not in my imagination. Actually, truly, 100% reality-based screaming.

It’s important that you understand that I am not a screamer by nature. If I were in a horror movie, I wouldn’t be the Scream Queen. I’d be the one who ducks and hides when I hear a weird noise and then peek out to see what’s going on. I’m pretty good about facing my fears. I’m not good at playing the damsel in distress. I learned a long time ago that you should rely on yourself first and foremost, and that your brain is the greatest weapon you can ever possess.

That being said, I woke up screaming the other morning.

I know exactly what it was that prompted the outburst. My bed is in front of a window. Just outside that window is my balcony fire escape. On the second floor of my building lives a strange little gnome-like woman. She has at least two cats. They manage to “escape” every now and then, and they like to come visit my window. My window sash is usually open about 8 inches, with a screen in place. When the kitties come a callin’, I have to either close the window or pull the security gate across it so that the very unhappy Daphne and the mildly unhappy/mainly intrigued Phizz and the Second Story Cat cannot get to each other.

This particular day, the white kitty had come by to say “howdy” pretty early…like around dawn. I closed the window as usual, and went back to sleep. A little later I woke up, cat was gone, so I opened the window again. Sometime later, I heard a loud noise and opened my eyes to see Daphne jumping back from the window. I can’t tell you now what the noise was, but my first thought was that the cat had returned and was ripping the screen with his claws. I screamed and started to sit up. Before I could fully finish the first scream, Daphne went flying off the bed and running into the living room. My mind’s rationalization for this behavior was that the cat had gotten in the window and was now after Daphne and that there was going to be one hell of a cat fight. This prompted a second, higher pitched scream.

Almost immediately, I realized that the window was intact; there was no alien cat around; and that given the slatted sleigh bed headboard on my bed, there was no way anything could have gotten through the window and given chase that quickly.

I snapped my mouth shut and listened. I was desperately hoping that no one would come knocking on my door. After about five minutes, my concern about being embarrassed was overcome by my annoyance that NO ONE HAD COME TO SEE IF ANYTHING WAS WRONG. Visions of Kitty Genovese danced through my head. I could just imagine the police knocking on doors, “Did you see or hear anything unusual?” “Well, there were two really loud terrified screams, but I figured (a) it wasn’t my problem, (2) someone was having a really good time or (D) someone else would see what was happening.”

I’d really like to be shocked by this, but, alas I am not. We really have become a nation of apathetic, narcissistic drones. Not everyone, of course. I am so relieved to be able to say that I am not prone to this behavior. In fact, I’m sometimes a little too quick to dive into a situation without fully thinking through the implications. Fortunately, I have never come to harm as a result of this, but I can’t say that I never will. But in weighing the choices…living as a coward or getting injured as a person who refused to stand by and do nothing…I’ll take the second option every time. I know it’s a ridiculous concept to even think that I can change the way people think or react, but at the same time, I know that I cannot change who I am or the way I feel when I know or think someone’s suffering as a result of someone else’s actions.

I’m not, nor am I trying to be, a martyr. But I do believe that nobility and honor are not concepts best left to the days of King Arthur. If each of us would just take a small step towards discarding our shell of comfort and complacency and instead do what we know to be the right thing, I think we’d all be amazed at the immediate, palpable difference.

And that is my soap box sermon for today. Stay tuned for next week’s sermon, “Godiva or Neuhaus: which is the superior gourmet chocolate?”