Heaven help us!

I sent the links to some amusing clips to ctkrod last week, and he's just informed me that he can't open YouTube at work, but he can see them on blogs. So as not to deprive him (or you) of the total freaks that come out on YouTube, allow my submission of the below:

Oh wait...first let me put my disclaimer:

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CONTENT MAY CONTAIN VIOLENCE AND STRONG LANGUAGE THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THOSE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE.

Okay! Here we go!

PEOPLE ARE FREAKS WHEN THEY GET BUSTED (pay especial attention to the reason the cameraman didn't stop filming and help the reporter)


ANIMALS ARE FREAKS, TOO (men, you may want to take a DEEP breath before checking this one out!)

So at 10:30 AM, I had a tooth condom clenched between my teeth...

What a way to start the week, huh?

Admitedly, it doubt that it's actually called a "tooth condom", but for all intents and purposes, that's what it was.

I imagine it's a form of dental dam, but it seriously was a tiny little condom.

Instead of the old-fashioned x-ray machines, my new dentist (Dr. Mitgang) has one of those hi-tech standing machines that takes panoramic pictures. Somewhere in the midst of that apparatus is a place you have to bite down to hold your mouth in the right position (so you can get a cool picture like the one below which gets beamed to the treatment room for your dentist to laugh at when he calls his wife to tell her they can afford that boat after all).

The tiny little tooth condom goes over this bite-down piece (to assure you that you are not being subjected to other people's yucky mouth germs).

I'd like to say that my teeth looked this good, but I'd be lying. I have a mouth full of fillings, so the tops of all the teeth in the pictures are bright white...kinda like this:



That white line is meant to indicate my root canal. As I have somewhat suspected over the years, it was not a very good root canal, and the crown sucks donkey tonsils. This is the nasty little bugger that has been giving me trouble lately and forced me to seek dental treatment in the first place. Seems that I have a lovely little infection going on in there, and I have to have it un-infecticated and re-done. And all for the bargain basement price of $1,140.00

The other $5,550 of dental work I require to fix up the messes those other 10 dentists I've had over the years made is just fat-free dressing on the celery.

I'm actually having to consider a payment plan or loan to have this stuff done. We're going to send a pre-work-how-much-will-you-cover letter to my dental insurance carrier, but I'm still going to have to fork over a bucketload of money. But what else can I do? My smile is one of the handful of things that gets me through life.

Note to self: In my next life, brush and floss more often and go to better dentists.